After weeks of growing anticipation, the 200 hour teacher training is finally here!
I had committed to this back in January, so I’ve had a lot of time to wonder about this upcoming experience and vacillated between nervousness and excitement. Endless questions swirled through my brain about whether I would be expected to become a yoga teacher, and about what challenges this training would bring. And if I did become a teacher, would I be any good? Sitting in the studio on the first evening of the training, I felt grounded and calm as I met each of the students and teachers who would be taking this journey with me. I was no longer anticipating this great thing in my life. It was here. I was doing it.
This first weekend was spent learning the yoga poses that would become a daily practice, and then learning how to teach them. Each of us nervously stepped in front of the room for the first time to teach a sequence, and slowly gained confidence and skills by doing it again and again. The support from each and every person in the room was palpable, encouraging me to be vulnerable and open.
When tasked with an exercise of teaching a pose and bringing something of myself into what I was teaching, my mind lit up. As I spent my time preparing my words and instructions, I was surprised at how delighted I was to do this. I signed on for this teacher training to gain a deeper knowledge of my own personal practice. Yet here I was, excited at the opportunity to share and impart some of my own experiences through yoga. The experience of teaching something so personal was intense. “You teach what you most need to learn,” said my teacher. And oh how right he is.
Looking forward, there is much to learn, but I feel ready. I may not understand everything right now, but I am confident that my practice and study will take me there. Throughout this training I will probably not always feel this joyful; I know I have plenty of walls to break through on this journey of self discovery. There will be frustration and tears, but also laughter and growth.
For now I am happy and excited to return to training this weekend. And it’s the kind of happy that’s not weighed down by stress or negativity. I am buoyed by the wealth of knowledge that lays ahead of me through each of my new and exceptional teachers. I can feel that this is where I need to be and am so grateful that I began this journey.